“Yeah, Index Finger has been acting kinda high and mighty lately,” confessed the Ring Finger as they gossipped with Thumb. “And it’s like, yeah, obviously you’re a star, but the rest of us are right here! We do a lot. Like, it’s called the Hand, not Index Finger and four talentless losers. Index Finger just always has to outshine us, what a diva.”

“Honestly, tensions are high, and you know Middle Finger has a really short temper,” Ring Finger continued as Index Finger studied their finely clipped nail in the mirror. “I think there’s gonna be a big fight soon if Index Finger doesn’t start acting like a team player.”

“Rings get really heavy sometimes, but you don’t hear me bragging about it,” Ring Finger exclaimed as Middle Finger started to pick a fight with Index Finger. “Honestly, we should probably just split up at this point. I bet all of us would have great solo careers, not just Index Finger.”

At press time, George Washington was totally the Harry Styles of Founding Fathers.