“We don’t want to write Shakespeare! Why would you want us to recreate something that’s already been done when we can offer you so much more?” asked Monkey #136,332, the elected representative of the incomprehensibly large cohort of typing monkeys. “Most people look at this room and just see an unending expanse of monkeys with typewriters. But me? I see infinite potential, infinite stories being written just waiting to be read.”

“Now, I know what you’re going to say, a lot of what we create is…rather unconventional, even by chimp standards,” continued #136,332 while showing reporters a 17-page manuscript entitled ‘jbeppttkln.’ “It might be confusing at first, but give it a chance, and I think you’ll find it’s just as good as your human classics.”

At press time, it was revealed that many of the monkeys’ original works were just deranged but well articulated Twilight and Hunger Games headcanons.