“The events of the last four years do not demonstrate who we are as a nation; let’s get back to who we are,” Biden threatened with malicious grin while punching his fist into his open palm like a schoolyard bully taunting terrified kids at recess. “I will build back better the America we all know it can be.”

In addition to residents of the United States, many people around the world reacted fearfully to Biden’s dark threat to return to normalcy.

“To our allies: we are proud to work with you again. We will once again be a force for good in the world," Biden powerfully threatened to an intimidated global citizenry as if here were alien super-villain announcing a violent takeover of Earth where all humans are made to eternally crush rocks. “America is back!”

At press time, Biden issued a terrifying decree for unity in a country where at least a good 40% of the public believes the rest should have no rights.