“We’ve maintained all the meal options students know and love at Jo’s,” said Director of Dining Services John Barber, emphasizing that salads, burgers, and quesadillas aren’t going anywhere. “But now Jo makes them all himself. Be patient with him, because he’s got a lot to handle all on his own.”

Instead of stationing workers behind the grill, the three burners, the salad bar, and the panini press, Dining Services has opted to have Jo scurry from station to station and prepare all the food students order all alone. Other responsibilities for Jo will reportedly include keeping the ketchup and napkins stocked all night.

“Additionally, we’re having Jo run all security for Josiah’s, and he’ll also be acting as the cashier,” Barber said. “It’s going to be a more authentic Jo’s experience in the end, because only Jo will be working there.”

At press time, Andrew was getting worried he might receive a similar promotion.