“So many were affected by the fires,” said CNN correspondent Maya Norton, referring to the countless Emmy, Oscar, and Grammy awards now missing from their ornate shelves. “This fire has just gone too far. Take Topanga, take Altadena, but this? This just crosses a line.”

“I don’t know how people are gonna sleep at night,” said The New York Times’ Rachel Peere, reflecting upon the millions of dollars in property damage caused by the loss of Dreyfus’s multi-million dollar house. “I mean, sure their beds are charred to ash; but even if they had a bed to sleep on, how could they know that Julia Louis-Dreyfus doesn’t have her Emmys? Everyone in this city is hurting, but just imagine how the celebrities are feeling.”

At press time, “Weird Al” Yankovic’s famous accordion was found burnt among the rubble, and animals died too or something.