“Yeah, she’s been in such a pissy mood all week,” Lab Rat Kyle mentioned as scientists injected his testicles with ammonium. “I get that she’s mad about her eyes exploding, but it’s like, c’mon, don’t make it everyone else’s problem.”

“The other day, Lab Rat Jennifer cut me in line for the water feeder, and then when I said something about it, she was all like, ‘Well I can’t exactly see where you are anymore, can I?’” Lab Rat Kyle continued as his testicles began to shrink significantly. “Talk about an attitude!”

“Obviously I feel bad, but like, she’s not the only Lab Rat whose eyes have exploded,” Lab Rat Kyle finished as his testicles fell clean off. “She’s been such a drama queen about it, it’s getting ridiculous.”

At press time, Lab Rat Tyler was definitely not finding his way out of that maze.