“James has always been one of the biggest boys in the grade,” said local parent Heidi James, clutching her child close so he doesn’t approach the seesaw. “By any chance, do you have good health insurance?”

“Are you really sure you want to let your boy over next to…you know…James,” continued Heidi, almost the same height as the total freak of nature about to shoot your unsuspecting child into outer space. “I’d be too scared to let my sweet Harry shake hands with him, let alone get on a see-saw.”

At press time, the two kids are about to play a game where they sit on each other.