“Usually I wake up with a pretty strong fit already planned, but today I literally could not decide between my floor length white lace negligee or my JNCOS and hoodie,” Martin said as he rifled through piles of desecrated denim and crocheted arm bands. “This sucks, I just love expressing my individuality by wearing the most batshit crazy items I can find on Depop, but today I’m at a loss.”

“It’s just really frustrating because I have this XXXL t-shirt with a picture of Biggie Smalls drawn like a Simpsons character on it that I have been dying to wear, but I also really just want to throw on my 10 foot long velour cloak and head to CS15,” he continued as a shrunken head fell out of the pocket of his ornate floor length coat. “I guess I just don’t know what vibe I wanna go for,” Martin concluded as he frantically threw on a beanie and a leather belt over his whalebone corset.

At press time, RISD students couldn’t decide whether to chainsmoke or go to therapy.