Published Friday, September 17th, 2021
Filed under Off Campus
“I really thought I’d spend more time sneaking in through back doors and stealing smooches against the icebox,” explained a downcast McDougal. “All I’ve done so far is drop off dairy products in the suburbs and run away from Labradoodles.”
“I’ve never snuck out a window with my trousers around my ankles and lipstick on my collar,” McDougal reported, trying his best to drop off a gallon of skim milk flirtatiously. “Gee, I really thought I’d father at least a couple children throughout my time as a milkman. I guess this job just isn’t all it’s cracked out to be.”
At press time, McDougal was wondering if he’d find more luck as the neighborhood mailman.