“You surely mess around with Pumpernickel?” asked Aden, pointing to the basket of assorted Cheesecake Factory bread sitting on the table. “I mean…who doesn’t love…fuck’n carbs, am I right? Right??"

“Fine I admit it, Sonic The Hedgehog wasn’t the best movie suggestion,” said Aden as she continued to spiral and attempted to force-feed a dinner roll to her date. “Here comes the choo-choo-train…opennnn uppppp.”

“Sorry, my boyfriend used to love when I did that…he was so naughty!” shared Aden as she launched into a detailed story about her ex. “We were actually engaged, but that’s besides the point.”

At press time, Aden asked her date “how was it?” when she returned from the bathroom.