Ryan's articles
Local woman Aden Doyle recently attempted to salvage an awkward first date by boldly asking “ya like bread?”
“You surely mess around with Pumpernickel?” asked Aden, pointing to the basket of assorted Cheesecake Factory bread sitting on the table.
During a recent discussion session of an introductory philosophy course, student Bradley Dershowitz struggled to articulate his thought but refused to yield the floor.
“Sorry if this is a half baked thought, but all great insights are ahead of their time,” said Dershowitz as he summarized the assigned readings with absolutely no original insight.
Sources report that Sc.B Candidate in Computer Science Marvin Rosenbaum finds CS32 way less interesting after finally losing his virginity.
“Debugging used to be my bread and butter,” mused Rosenbaum, staring blankly at his open code. “But these Merkle trees just aren’t doing it for me ever since I did the deed.”
“You know, ever since I punched my V-card, CS32 has just lost some of the magic,” continued Rosenbaum while writing out “boobs” on his calculator.
According to sources familiar with the subject, junior and mason jar aficionado Rory Buchanan has no idea he is universally despised.
“I’m sorry, would you like something to drink? Let me pour you a jar,” said Buchanan, unaware that his friends and family avoid him at all costs.
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