Sources report that, contrary to what the eye-catching sticker suggests, Swiss isn’t what most would consider a Dave’s devotee. “I’ve been there once or twice. Like it’s ok, but also it’s kind of far away,” he pointed out, “And you have to walk down that really big hill. Honestly, I’m more of a Blue State guy, but when I saw that Dave’s had a whole stack of stickers next to their register I had to take one, you know?”

“The Dave’s sticker really adds some character to my Macbook," he continued, "And that vinyl holds up to daily wear and tear like a champ. But on the coffee front, I find their blend a little blah.”

Swiss continued to praise the enticing orange hue of the logo, but noted that the java “leaves a little to be desired.” At press time, Swiss was flaunting his disloyalty to Dave’s by affixing an Underground Coffee Co. sticker to his water bottle.