“Don’t you love this sick style? I feel so edgy, man,” said Providence resident Pete McCandless, whose mohawk was totally flopping over at the tips. “Don’t I look so sharp?”

“All it takes is a little bit of hair gel and a few minutes in the mirror,” continued McCandless as a slight gust of wind threatened to wreck the already structurally-dubious mohawk. “I bet you wanna try a mohawk too. Not sure if you have the right hair for it, brother. But godspeed.”

“It’s a great hairstyle, bro, sometimes I can make the mohawk last for a couple days,” said McCandless, his mohawk now split in half and folding down over his forehead. “God, I look so good right now. Don’t I look good?”

At press time, it was unclear whether the slick texture of the mohawk was due to hair gel or to McCandless not having washed his hair in four days.