“An interesting read!” texted your mother, attaching an article with the headline “THREE FOUND DEAD ON TROPICAL BEACH.” “Would pack some pepper spray if I were you.”

“Poor woman,” your mom wrote in a second text accompanying a video titled “STUDENT KIDNAPPED FROM LOCAL BAR.” “Maybe ask someone’s boyfriend to come to the resort with you girls for safety??”

“This might be why your flight was so cheap!” added your mom, helpfully including a statistical breakdown of violent crime in the area surrounding your hotel. “Just food for thought…”

At press time, your mom was reminding you that if you change your mind about this trip, you and your friends are welcome to set up some air mattresses in her garage.