“I feel like if I had hands on my feet, I wouldn’t use them to eat, y’know?” said casual Monkey observer Roni Emerson, getting a little jealous of the creatures’ dual sets of feet hands and hand hands. “I mean, they’re face down on the ground most of the time. But I’m sure they come in handy for other stuff. Like, say you’re cleaning a toilet or fishing some old food out of the drain. I’d kill to have a pair of dirty feet hands just for wiping my ass. I bet that monkey probably thinks the same way I do. We’re not so different after all, are we?”

At press time, it was theorized that octopi can probably do eight different things at the same time while giving their full attention to each limb.