“At their prime rate of 300 eggs—each holding a precious baby with 400 tiny feet—just one of my children can require 120,000 socks within a few weeks,” said Grandma Millipede, knitting a different sock with each of her sets of feet. “These pink and yellow socks are for my precious grandchild Mary’s 397th and 398th feet—I’m almost done! Then on to the next pair, of course!”

“We simply can’t keep up with Grandma. Our shelves are completely devoid of yarn, and her demand is only increasing,” said a spokesperson for Hobby Lobby, Grandma’s primary yarn supplier. “We’ve had to start rationing. Grandma has formally been limited to one new ball of yarn per day.”

At press time, Grandma Silkworm reported no issues with the yarn shortage.