“My niece is just such a pretty young girl, I’m sure those poor Ocean State boys don’t know what to do with themselves,” your Aunt Sarah said, greatly overestimating your general rizz. “She’s a total catch, she must have every Tony, Dick, and Harry banging at her door trying to take her to the disco. Oh I remember college, those boys sure were randy!”

“I just hope she’s not letting them take up too much of her time,” Aunt Sarah continued, despite the fact that all you’ve done since September has been unsuccessful and mildly humiliating eye flirting in Blue Room. “After all, she is there to study, no matter how cute those New England charmers might be!”.

At press time, the nation’s uncles wanted to know if you still like those Percy Jackson books.