“Nice throw, son,” said father and head researcher Todd Porter after a years-long, in-depth study. “You’ve got an arm on ya, that’s for sure.”

The study, which was published worldwide, detailed that that arm could get you places, son. One prominent finding was that with that arm, we might actually have a shot at winning this thing.

“Pretty good pitch. You’re not bad, kiddo,” Porter said after scrutinizing countless spreadsheets of meticulous data. “Glad to see you’re still playin’ ball. That arm’s really something.”

After another comprehensive investigation, the nation’s dads reported that they don’t know, maybe ask your mother.