“We’re disgusted and frankly shocked by the nature of Detective Porcino’s involvement in the Atomwaffen SS organization, who are neo-Nazis,” Captain Marko Branovic stated at a department press conference Thursday. “For Michael to attend these meetings that indoctrinate people into violent white nationalism without telling us? Without considering that the rest of the department might be interested – in fact, thrilled, to come? It’s really hurtful to morale and a serious dereliction of duty.”

“The Department takes the use of disciplinary action very seriously, and we want to emphasize that our reprimand and suspension of Sergeant Porcino represents the gravest possible repudiation of his involvement in this neo-Nazi hate group,” continued Captain Branovic. “Our colleague Michael, a man who has dedicated his life to public service and the profession of law enforcement, made a serious mistake by joining a political extremist cell actively working to expand racial terror and violence without bothering to ask any of us if we wanted to come too. It goes without saying that a pattern of this same behavior could cause Detective Porcino to be let go.”

At press time, another officer had been reprimanded for smuggling weapons from the evidence locker to a neo-Nazi group he was involved in rather than smuggling them from the department’s warehouse of military surplus.