“We had so much fun making it, but unfortunately, after two short seasons, this baby just became too much of a burden,” announced Netflix CEO Greg Peters, shaking the baby for emphasis. “We’re confident that if we kept investing money in this baby, maybe in 30 or so years, the production costs would be paid off, but it’s too unpredictable. So we’ve decided to drop this baby before it becomes too much of a money sink.”

“This baby started off really cute and cuddly, but the crying and the diaper changing and the whole ‘needing to give it attention’ thing… It was unreasonable to assume that we have the resources to handle it,” continued Peters, dangling the baby over a large trash can. “We at Netflix want to apologize to anyone that got attached to this baby. Please just be appreciative for the time this baby got and move on to one of our other offerings like the brand new quadruplets we just acquired.”

At press time, Peters was seen greenlighting a fragile glass vase soaked in butter.