Obama Whispers “Radical Islamic Terrorism” Under Breath Just To See What It Feels Like

Published Friday, November 4th, 2016
Filed under Campus Life

At approximately 4 a.m., the sleepless president was seen tiptoeing into the bathroom adjoining the Lincoln Bedroom, where he turned on the faucet to conceal the sound of his voice, and whispered the phrase slowly and precisely while staring at his reflection in the mirror.

“Radical Islamic terrorism,” Obama reportedly said, slightly louder, breathing deeply and nodding gently as he wiped sweat from his forehead. “Radical. Islamic. Terrorism."

After repeating the phrase at an almost conversational volume and hearing First Lady Michelle Obama stir, the president reportedly shivered, splashed his face with water, and began getting dressed for the day.