Oh Boy Providence, Do I Have a Treat for You! You’ll Never Guess—It’s More Rain! I Know How Much You Looove Rain! by God

Published Friday, March 8th, 2019
Filed under Opinion

Every time I look down on the beautiful city of Providence, I can just tell that every person down there is practically begging for more sweet, sweet precipitation. I love you all so much and that’s why I grant these wishes. Have more rain! Here you go! A drop over here, a drop over there, a sprinkle right here… isn’t this fun?

I know it’s wintertime, but who needs snow when you have rain? Definitely not Providence! Snow shmow.. I know all of you, the citizens of Providence, agree that rain is better and more fun. You can never have enough rain, huh? I know that’s my motto!

It’s so easy for me to give you more rain. I just press a button and it comes pouring down to nourish your souls. It’s really no trouble. You deserve it and it’s really not a hassle for me.

What’s that? I can’t quite hear you but I’m going to assume you want more rain. Here it comes! And guess what—it’s extra cold, just how you like it!