In this world, the ultra-rich reign supreme. Wealth inequality in the United States spits in the face of democracy and equality. For 95% of Americans, no matter how hard they work, no matter how smart they are, no matter their circumstances at all, their bank accounts will forever be less than the monopolists of the 1%. This is a tragedy of enormous proportions. One that cannot be understated. Yet this administration, instead of helping those in poverty, those who don’t know where their next meal will come from, those who have come from nothing, those who help keep our society running, has decided that the best course of action is to decrease these people’s benefits. This administration has repeatedly bowed down to big business for their own selfish gains, and this is deplorable. There is no just world where these billionaires are able to amass even greater fortunes, fortunes that they do not know how to spend. So the only reasonable path toward economic justice in our lifetimes, the only path toward realizing the American dream, the only path that is morally defensible, is to tax the wealthy to ensure wealth redistribution. I urge this Congress, Republicans and Democrats alike, to think not only of their wealthiest donors but of those that need the most help. Our country is controlled by a billionaire class. Through taxation, we can change.

COUNTERPOINT: We Should Steal From Children by Swiper

Nyaah! It is I, Swiper the Fox! Living in the jungle my whole life, I have learned the actual way this world works: Either you live a thief or die a victim. Clearly it is better to be a thief! And who better to take from than those who haven’t worked a day in their lives? Children! They are the parasites who feast upon society and give nothing in return! So what is the best way to improve our own lives and the lives of the population at large? Not through taxing the rich, but instead, stealing from kids! Nothing is more satisfying than the satisfaction of stealing a map from a little girl, then saying, “You’re too late! You’ll never get that map back now!” Ha ha ha ha!!! I love traumatizing kids! Everybody needs to feel the high that I feel when I SWIPE those… babies’ most prized possessions! But there is a catch that everyone wanting to steal from children should be aware of. If the kid tells you to stop three times in a row, you have to stop swiping. I don’t make the rules—some little brat who speaks Spanish does! But otherwise, swiping from kids is fun, easy, and completely ethical!