Paranoid Police Sketch Artist Convinced Witnesses Just Describing Him

Published Friday, November 4th, 2016
Filed under Off Campus

“I’m just trying to do my job,” said Sullivan, faithfully sketching his self-portrait for the third time this day. “These witnesses all have truly terrible memories. How are the detectives going to be solve another case if literally every single sketch I hand them is of a 5’11” man with brown hair and eyes. That’s me in case that wasn’t clear.”

At press time, Sullivan was seen tearing up his sketch.