“Do I come off as unhinged? You bet your ass,” said Bishop, continuing to walk at a furious pace as if he were picking up classified foreign intelligence briefings and not an Uncrustable from Jo’s. “But if I cannot speak my truth to the people of this campus, then this is no longer the greatest democracy to bless this little blue marble we call Earth.”

“I’m not asking that you newsies coddle me like I’m some senator busted behind the wheel with a BAC higher than post-Reaganomics inflation,” continued Bishop, believing one semester in Washington gives him license to pretend he is in a goddamn West Wing episode. “I want you to show who I am. Show that I have guts. And you damn well know it.”

At press time, a returned Brown in Washington student can’t stop getting handed memos then passing them off to a person walking in the opposite direction.