“Mikey only comes to fix the dishwasher, but if the washing machine is broken we are supposed to contact Tony. Vinny collects the quarters from the dryer but we send our rent to Nicky until now they made us change to Giuseppe,” said tenant Gina Villega, unable to discern the dark-haired middle-aged assortment of Sicillian brothers that waltz in and out of her apartment in no particular order. “I don’t even know who my landlord is at this point.”

At press time, Providence renters were just a collection of indecipherable 20-year-old legacy students.