“Yikes,” said Dana Shultz, head of the Center’s research division, “Everyone’s lips get so dry in this weather. We see it happen every year. Our little lips just don’t stand a chance against this chill combined with this wind.”

“Uh oh, everyone’s lips are already drying out,” continued Schultz, explaining that it would only take a few more cold days until everyone’s lips became fully chapped. “The best we can do is just hope they don’t get all cracked and flaky. We recommend bringing around a tiny, little travel size chapstick everywhere you go.”

At press time, everyone was licking their thirsty little lips for some temporary relief.