According to the report, researchers have discovered that many different species of otter, including the European otter, the North American river otter, the sea otter, and the giant otter, are freaky little munchkins.

“We had previously thought that otters were just intelligent, versatile animals that were exceptionally well-adapted to their environment,” explained otter expert and lead author Denny Rollins. “But it turns out they’re also slippery as hell. See them rolling around in the water like that? Damn, they’re nasty as hell.”

The Aquatic Mammals Digest report went on to classify otters as social animals who are down for absolutely anything under the sun.

“Our data showed that nine out of ten otters get up to all kinds of mischief," Rollins continued. “And that tenth otter was bizarre in it’s own freaky kind of way.”

At press time, otters were observed rubbing their greasy little mittens on everything.