“We wanted to ensure that our students will still be able to convey that they’re so over it all even though their faces must be covered,” explained RISD president Rosanne Somerson, displaying the curled lip and slight frown printed on all official RISD masks. “With these masks, students can still silently put down passing strangers and express their sense of ennui while remaining safe from infection.”

“These masks are perfect for my photography class critiques,” commented RISD junior Belinda Quigley, who often blew cigarette smoke in the faces of passersby before the pandemic hit. “If I didn’t have this mask, my classmates might think that their pieces elicit an emotional response in me. Their work is much too derivative to do that.”

At press time, Brown’s BEO department was issuing masks printed with smug smirks.