“Coach Ryan is as good as they get,” said Badger’s forward Sam Dekker as Ryan dabbed the sweat off his forehead with a custom black silk necktie. “He pushes us to give a hundred and ten percent and looks good doing it.”

“Drive! Drive! Drive!” said Ryan, his coattails flailing behind him and his polished leather dress shoes scuffing the hardwood.

At press time, Ryan was seen throwing his $400 imported Italian fedora onto the court because the Badgers missed another free throw.