“He tried it with only eagle feathers the first time, but I heard he’s gonna try albatross on his next go-round,” said Di Bianchi’s understudy excitedly while plucking large feathers off of a dead bird. “He’s trying to do it like the birds do – with really big feathers glued to his arms. He said last time the cliff he jumped off wasn’t tall enough either, so he’s waiting for a windy day to go jump off the top of that mountain near town. He said there’s no way it could fail this way. And if it does, he has big plans to maybe try a wheelbarrow attached to an umbrella.”

At press time, Di Bianchi began working on a marble bust of his own face because he knew this flight stuff was going to make him famous someday.