“All of us lame nerds at the BDH just want to let everyone know that our name stands for Boring, Dumb Headlines,” said the stupid spokesperson for the dumb paper that no one even likes. “Our paper sucks and honestly even our moms don’t wanna read it.”

“The only reason anyone reads our dumb, idiot paper is because if they don’t, we’ll start crying,” continued the dweeby baby who writes for the stupid paper. “Because we’re a bunch of babies. Did I mention how bad our paper is? It’s boring and dumb. Just like the name suggests.”

At press time, The Brown Noser was really cool and good.