“It’s just such an adult step,” said hometown source Will Reiser, stupefied by Merritt’s recent career move. “He just has a whole, like, life now.”

“He’s setting himself up financially, but it’s wild that he’s just out there selling houses to people,” Reiser said, bewildered by the fact that his contemporary has a whole ass career. “Good for him, I guess.”

At press time, it was reported that huh, high school prom date just had a baby.