Report: Potion Of Ants Does Exactly What It Sounds Like

Published Friday, February 7th, 2025
Filed under Off Campus

“Yes, well, I suppose we should’ve seen this coming,” said Headmaster Tiberius Sprimble as the Potion of Ants did its thing. “See, this is just like what happened with the Potion of Rhinoceroses but with ants instead.”

“Y’know, I had a mental image of what this potion would do, and I pretty much nailed it,” continued Sprimble as the Potion of Ants inflicted very predictable consequences that are explained by its aforementioned name. “I’ll go ahead and call for an ambulance.”

At press time, sources added that the Potion of Spawning Exactly Twelve Sea Urchins had unexpected effects.