“Ooh-wee! The RIPTA’s rippin’, baby!” exclaimed Klein, as his RIPTA bus sped along the highway significantly above the state-mandated speed limit. “Hell yeah, this RIPTA’s takin’ me on the ride of my life!”

“RIPTA to Houston: we have lift off!” yelled Klein, bracing himself against his seat as the RIPTA took a sharp turn at breakneck speeds. “We’re goin’ to infinity and beyond, baby!”

At press time, the Brown U shuttle was shreddin’, baby!