“The President’s performance piece finds itself at the intersection of traditional ballet and modern breakdance,” read the statement, released yesterday. “For over 5 ½ hours, Tina (as she prefers to be known on stage) will tell her own life story — which is also the story of America — through movement, interactive strobe light displays, brief pyrotechnic intervals, and a series of increasingly elaborate costume changes that will dazzle the crowd.”

The statement also promised the inclusion of “12 backup dancers, the Moses Brown high school marching band, two different french horn quartets, and a mime.”

“We’re very excited to see what she’s prepared for us,” said a representative for the Brown Concert Agency. “We were really compelled by the ideas she presented, and we were looking for something new to add to the lineup. Also, she forced us to add her to the lineup.”

At press time, Paxson had emailed PDFs of hand-drawn stage design concepts to all of campus.