“Oh wow, I really should have just kept my mouth shut,” said granddaughter Emma Murddock, realizing her grave mistake as her grandpa launched into a rehearsed fifteen-minute rant. “I don’t know why I thought maybe tonight would be different.”

“Yep, totally going to avoid this topic next year,” Murddock thought to herself as her grandpa raised his voice even higher and began waving his hands manically, shouting at no one in particular. “This is just like when I made the mistake of trying to talk to him about 3D printing.”

At press time, you definitely should talk about Dick Clark in front of Grandma.