“Some think it’s most important for a roommate to have similar sleep habits or different levels of cleanliness. We decided to stop accounting for these differences completely and only zero in on whether you guys are a sexual match," stated Head of Reslife Brenda Ice while assigning two exes to the same room. “We believe all types of issues in sharing a living space would be solved if you were in a committed relationship with your roommate.”

“College is a massive change, and you only really have your tiny dorm room as your own space,” continued Ice while checking your horoscope and kekeing with your friends about your past relationships. “We hope that encouraging casual hooking up will strengthen your relationship with your roommate.”

At press time, Reslife only put only one bed in each room.