“I’m so grateful I had the opportunity to live in Spain for four months,” Hanes reminisced, completely forgetting that America is the land of opportunity. “The language, the culture, the people––ugh, I miss them so much!”

“I’d do anything to go back to those Mediterranean beaches for just one day,” Hanes added, overlooking that in America, the streets are paved with gold. “And those tapas! They were to die for.”

“I can totally see myself moving to Spain after graduation––the work-life balance is just so much healthier there,” Hanes continued, neglecting the fact that it’s easy to go from rags to riches in America with just a little hard work. “I can’t wait to go back!”

At press time, all it took was a 4am Big Mac at the McDonald’s drive-thru to convince Hanes that the American Dream was, in fact, live and well.