“I’m just excited to get some experience in the finance world,” said Hart, a financial dependent in an upper-class family. “I figure everyone has to work a few max wage jobs right out of school.”

Despite only getting maximum wage, Hart will be able to take full advantage of working alongside real people in the field, like his dad and his dad’s friends.

“I’m just glad the maximum wage keeps getting raised,” continued Hart, thinking of the money that will pad his trust fund. “It is so important for workers to earn a livable wage.”

At press time, Hart was receiving his biweekly giant novelty check.