“Just one more. Just to be sure,” Romney said while booting up his laptop. “These bloggers are up all hours of the night these days.” After his search of “Mitt Romney” yielded no new results, the former Governor tried other well-worn search terms, such as “Mitt Romney good job,” “Romney nice try still remember,” and “Mitt tried that’s what matters not forgotten.”

“Try again tomorrow,” Romney said after spending nearly an hour Google searching combinations of his name and various phrases of encouragement only to find nothing had been written about him since last November. “They won’t forget you, Mitt,” he added as he closed his laptop screen. “You’re unforgettable.”