“I have no power over them,” stated Ross as a jubilant horde of shovel-bearing construction workers ran rampant across the quad. “Technically, the issue falls under the purview of the private contractor. Also, personally, I would never use my authority to quench such profound, defiant joy.”

“Most of them are working overtime without any compensation, which I’m okay with because they’re having a fabulous time and also not in a union,” Ross continued, pausing to applaud a young construction worker who had just dug his first real hole. “In fact, I suspect about 60 or 70 of these construction workers aren’t even employed by our contractor and are just digging for pure love of the game.”

“My hands-off attitude has nothing to do with the fact that I receive bonus pay for each week the renovation exceeds its projected timeline,” Ross clarified, watching as an enthusiastic squad of workers began digging smaller holes at the bottom of a large one. “I’m just so glad they’re having fun!"

At press time, Facilities was rolling dice to decide the next women’s locker room closure.