Professor M. Magdalene, head of the research study, says she’s unsurprised by the results. “I had a feeling this would be the case,” she said. “Can you imagine a boat filled with thousands of heterosexual animals? Even in 1200 BCE that’s just not realistic.”

Professor Magdalene also hinted that there was probably a few other non-straight individuals in the Bible.

“Come on, Jesus and Judas? There was clearly some major relationship drama there.”