Yes, Mother. Yes, I am leaving with her. And don’t call her that! She has a name, Mother! It’s Zabina. Zabina Rambina DeCoupage. And we’re running away together. Running away from you. In fact, you could say we’re eloping! Because we plan to get married, Mother. If you just accept that this is the life I’m destined to live then you might even get invited to the wedding, Mother.

Yes, that’s right. A wedding. Imagine me, a groom! As much as you feared this day might come, can’t you just be happy for me, Mother? Me, your baby boy! In love! Excited to suckle at the teat of this world! I know you may have forgotten the world outside and may very well only remember its evils at this point, but believe me when I say that Zabina has shown me how to shine in this world’s light and to scoff at its darkness.

I think you might get along with her, Mother. Would you give her a try?

Mother, I told you to stop calling her that! You evil, evil witch. Call her by her name, right now, or I will walk right out this door. Do it now!

I hope someday you’ll come around, Mother. Goodbye.