“Oh, this? This isn’t important,” Clancy said, referring to the verb conjugation, which is used exclusively in Spain, like it was a Class A misdemeanor that must be banished from her students’ minds forever. “You should never, ever, use vosotros. Pretend it’s not there.”

Drawing a large X over the conjugation on her chalkboard, Clancy explained that vosotros is not remotely important even though it’s taught in the textbook, almost as if she were dissuading students from a life of running from the law.

“Nothing to see here kids. Just direct your attention to the ustedes form — that’s the one you want,” Clancy said, discouraging the class from adding an “-ais” or “-eis” ending to a verb with such conviction that you’d think this single act could land you in jail. “Trust me, you don’t want to waste your time on vosotros. Promise me you’ll never get tangled up in learning vosotros, okay? I just want to make sure you all understand that there’s nothing good waiting for you down that road.”

At press time, Clancy was throwing her body in front of the vosotros slide on her PowerPoint lesson like she was protecting her students from a grenade.