“I’m really excited to see what adventures I get up to with my besties,” reported junior Kayla Griffin, who had no clue about the arguments awaiting her and that rat bastard Emily. “I can’t wait to get sloppy drunk and see all the positive emotions we harbor towards each other on full display.”

“It’s true that some of us have had a bit of history,” said that rat bastard Emily Sinclair, whose spring break group includes her boyfriend, ex-situationship, and ex-situationship’s current situationship. “But I think that spending every moment of every day in a resort together will only bring us closer. Plus, we’re splitting two beds for six people, so we’ll be saving a fortune, too!”

At press time, the group was making plans to all move in together a year from now.