“I expected her to be wicked and make me live in the attic,” said Carolyn Nelph, McNeal’s stepdaughter. “But really, she’s super fun and drives me to my soccer games and sometimes she even brings orange slices for the team. She doesn’t even dress me in rags or order me to scrub the parlor floor!”

Admiring McNeal’s modest blouse and sensible brown loafers, Nelph expressed her surprise that McNeal wears normal clothes instead of excessive, lavish gowns. She also noted that McNeal has normal straight brown hair instead of some kind of evil updo.

“I was shocked that she didn’t turn monstrous after the wedding,” Nelph said, pleased that she could call McNeal “Carolyn” instead of “stepmother.” “It was so cool that she wasn’t immediately like, ‘Give me all your gold!’ She also totally didn’t even force me to hand over my mother’s ruby necklace, which was pretty awesome.”

At press time, local godmother Edith Sharpe is actually just an accountant.