“Sorry if this is a half baked thought, but all great insights are ahead of their time,” said Dershowitz as he summarized the assigned readings with absolutely no original insight. “If y’all bear with me, we can deliver this intellectual baby together.”

“Mind if I let the dogs breath for a bit?” asked Dershowitz as he removed his shoes and filled the room with his signature Bradley-Stank, putting a finger to his lips to shush the class. “I’m really trying to channel Papí Nietzsche right now, but with my own special sauce drizzled on top.”

At press time, Dershowitz was still speaking while now pacing menacingly around the classroom.