“No, no, NO! This is not how it’s supposed to be! Stop waving and keep dancing, you clueless imbeciles,” barked camera operator Devin Clark, swiveling his device away from the fans who had apparently become aware of the constant surveillance they have been subject to within the Foucauldian prison. “It’s a Dance Camera; YOU dance, I watch! If you know you’re being observed, you fuck the whole thing up!”

“Shit, not again! C’mon kid, keep flossing. Put that hand down and avert your eyes!” continued Clark, failing to see that even the mere potential to be observed has already drastically altered the behavior of fans. “Alright, fine. They don’t want to play nice. Maybe a couple minutes of the reverse-eating camera will whip them back into shape.”

At press time, two people on the Kiss Cam just sat around and did nothing instead of contributing to the sensationalization of romance and sex in modern society.