“Please, please, I’ll do anything! Someone just please pretend to care for five seconds!” said CSCI 200 TA Rob Euoualie ’24, dropping to his knees while facing the seven students out of 30 who had shown up for the mandatory section. “Will someone answer this one question if I promise to bring in pizza or something?”

“There isn’t even a wrong answer to this question, guys! Please just stop looking at me like I’m some poor zoo animal,” continued Euoualie with tears forming in his eyes, banging on the table with his fists. “I’m only doing this for my resume. I didn’t sign up for psychological torture from people one year younger than me. Please someone just answer the question! PLEASE!”

At press time, Euoualie answered his own question and proceeded to the next slide.